


my first and last

by ootn



Series: habits of my heart [4]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Break Up, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:27:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23241736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ootn/pseuds/ootn
Summary: jaemin teaches jisung how to love, and be loved in return
Relationships: Na Jaemin/Park Jisung
Series: habits of my heart [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1632931
Comments: 11
Kudos: 99





	my first and last

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much to everyone who has followed this series and is reading this finally! i know i took forever to post this but i was very hesitant bc i wanted it to be perfect so i hope that it's everything you all wanted. please enjoy <3 i love you all

After going through the worst heartbreak of his life, Jaemin is Jisung’s rock.

He genuinely doesn’t know what he would have done if Jaemin hadn't been there with him, every step of the way. It was… a process, to say the least. Jaemin was the only reason he got out of bed most days, because he’d poke his head in and coax him out for breakfast even when Jisung wanted nothing more than to lie in his bed all day and be miserable. When Jisung can’t sleep, Jaemin is always there with open arms, letting Jisung climb into his bed and into his arms. He helps Jisung navigate the messy waters with Renjun, coaching him through potential conversations and giving him advice, and as it turns out, Renjun isn’t nearly as upset as Jisung thought he’d be.

Through it all, Jaemin is there for him, everything from a shoulder to cry on to a reason to wake up every day to a warm set of arms to feel comfortable in. Jisung is more than grateful. He’s finally started to come out of his shell again, things are mostly normal with the boys (even though obviously any interaction with Chenle is awkward and pained), and Jisung finally feels like himself again. 

He feels other things, too. Even though he swore to both himself and Chenle that Chenle was the only one, _ever_ , he feels something stir in him whenever he sees Jaemin just being, well, Jaemin. There’s something about him that’s just so beautiful, something so lively and perfect and Jisung can’t help the way his heart does a tiny flip whenever Jaemin catches him looking and gives him a smile that outshines the sun. After Chenle, though, Jisung is not looking to put himself in any sort of situation like that again, so he tells himself these feelings mean nothing. If Jaemin knows how Jisung feels, and sometimes Jisung suspects he must because he can’t help but blush when Jaemin so much as looks at him, he doesn’t say anything.

But he does things, things that are both miniscule and monumental at the same time. 

Like when he pulls Jaemin onto his lap when they’re backstage, something he’s always done, but there’s something about it that feels a bit more affectionate now, because he’ll tuck his head into Jisung’s shoulder, closing his eyes and just holding Jisung in silence as the younger does whatever he wants. Sometimes Jisung will play a game on his phone, or listen to music, but most of the time he’ll do nothing at all, feeling safe and happy in Jaemin’s arms.

Or when Jaemin sits next to him when they have movie night at the dorms and tucks Jisung under his arm and lets the younger cuddle close to him, head resting on his chest and listening to Jaemin’s heartbeat. It feels way too intimate for a movie night with everyone else around, but most of the time Jisung forgets about both the other boys and the movie as his head fills with thoughts of Jaemin. 

Or whenever Jaemin cooks for him, which he always does, but he doesn’t ever complain anymore, even when Jisung goes to him at three in the morning and begs him to make food. He doesn’t even bat an eye, he whips up whatever Jisung wants and ends up feeding it to him most of the time, too. Jeno walked in on them one time, early in the morning when Jaemin was feeding him cold noodles, and it was way more awkward than it should have been. Jeno had given them a look that they both pointedly ignored and pretended they didn’t know what it implied.

Or the way Jaemin is just so touchy now, clingier than ever, and Jisung can’t find it in himself to want him to stop. It’s like Jaemin always has to be touching him, be it a hand on his thigh or linking their fingers together or resting his chin on Jisung’s shoulder. Even the fans notice and point it out, amazed that Jaemin could show more skinship than he already does, but the six of them skip over those comments on live and no one acknowledges it, ever. 

Or even how whenever they go out, Jaemin pays for everything, and he always wants to hold Jisung’s hand. Jisung knows Jaemin only ever holds Jeno’s hand when they go out, and he’s never questioned it, and he’s certainly not going to question it if Jaemin wants to hold _his_ hand now, instead. 

He tries his best to ignore the knowing looks from the other boys, the pounding of his heart when Jaemin looks at him like _that_ , the way his brain is always wondering what it would be like to kiss Jaemin. He reminds himself of what happened last time he fell in love with someone and how bad it hurt.

But Jaemin is different. Jisung truly didn’t think he’d ever be able to fill the Chenle-shaped hole in his heart, but Jaemin is looking more and more like he could fit there. Time does heal all wounds, after all, and maybe time can be helped along by a certain someone.

⭑

As the days turn into weeks, and then months, feelings growing and blooming and flourishing between them, there are more than a few instances where Jisung swears he can feel the tension between them as if it were a tangible thing. He thinks he could cut through it with a knife, and even that wouldn’t be enough to break it up completely.

There’s this time in the recording studio, when the two of them hang around after everyone’s left, picking up empty water bottles and scrap paper the others had left behind. The lights are low, and after they’ve cleaned up it’s just the two of them. Jaemin catches Jisung’s eye from across the room, and Jisung gulps so loud he thinks there’s no way Jaemin doesn’t hear it. They kind of just stare at each other for a moment, and Jisung can hear his heart beating, and he takes a tentative step closer to Jaemin, who does the same. They approach each other, and Jaemin takes his hands, and Jisung has a hard time meeting his eyes. But then Jaemin just says softly, “You ready to head back?” Jisung nods, and Jaemin turns, still holding one of Jisung’s hands as he leads him out of the studio.

Then there’s this time when it’s early in the morning, and Jaemin’s cooking for him, and something just comes over Jisung and he engulfs Jaemin in a back hug. Jaemin is startled, but he pats Jisung on the hand and spins around in Jisung’s grasp when he can turn away from what he’s doing. It’s another heart stopping moment as they stare at each other, and Jisung just buries his face in Jaemin’s neck, too nervous to let anything happen. Jaemin pats him gently on the back before Jisung untangles himself, settling back at the table and letting Jaemin finish cooking.

There’s also this time when they’re sprawled out on the couch, and when Jisung says something stupid (he can’t even remember _what_ ), Jaemin immediately attacks him with tickles. Jisung is _way_ too ticklish for this situation, and Jaemin knows this, so it’s no surprise when Jisung ends up pinned down with Jaemin on top of him. And like so many times before, their eyes meet, and Jaemin’s flicker to his lips and back, but neither of them moves. Eventually, Jisung sticks his tongue out at Jaemin before throwing him off and running down the hall to his room, Jaemin hot on his heels as soon as he recovers.

The nail in the coffin is when Jaemin finds Jisung curled up with Jeno and Jisung thinks Jaemin might actually strangle Jeno. It’s not often that Jisung and Jeno are alone together, but this time they are, cuddling on the couch and watching cartoons. It’s nothing suggestive _at all_ , Jisung is just enjoying some time with his hyung he so rarely gets alone, but the look on Jaemin’s face is complete and utter betrayal (from Jisung or Jeno, no one is certain). He hides his reaction when he realizes it’s showing on his face, but it’s a bit too late because Jeno and Jisung look at each other in alarm before Jisung tumbles off of the couch as a direct result of Jeno trying to put some space between them. He looks up at Jaemin sheepishly, who gives him a sweet smile (as usual) and helps him onto his feet. He links arms with Jisung and leads him out of the room, talking about how he needs to make sure his baby is fed, it’s been _so_ long, he coos, but Jisung doesn’t miss the glare he shoots Jeno before they leave. 

Jisung gives him an apologetic look over his shoulder when Jaemin isn’t looking, and when they’re out of the room, Jaemin pulls him into the kitchen, where he insists Jisung eats as he pinches his cheeks and pats him on the head. Jisung knows why he’s being overbearing and protective, and he lets him, because he knows it makes Jaemin happy when he feels like he’s taking care of Jisung, _especially_ when Jaemin feels his territory is being intruded upon by his friend. And when Jaemin pinches his cheeks again, face getting a bit too close for comfort, Jisung takes the easy way out and kisses Jaemin on the nose. Jaemin seems pleasantly surprised, so Jisung tells himself that’s all that either of them wanted. But he just can’t shake the feeling in his stomach that he’s missing out in something.

Jisung is pretty sure he knows why Jaemin won’t make a move, even though he wants to, even though _Jisung_ wants him to. But Jaemin is nothing if not considerate, and deep down Jisung knows that Jaemin will _never_ make a move unless Jisung tells him it’s okay, because he doesn’t want to risk hurting Jisung all over again or disrupt his healing process.

It’s going to have to be Jisung who makes a move, but Jisung doesn’t know if he’s ready for that. But it’s okay, because Jaemin is patient and Jaemin is kind and Jaemin is _Jaemin_. Despite him wanting to protect his fragile heart from getting hurt again, Jisung knows it’s only a matter of time before he gives in to Jaemin completely.

⭑

It’s one Friday night when everything changes. 

The two of them are in Jaemin’s room, lying around and talking about nothing and everything, having declined the invitation to movie night because both of them were too ramped up from practice to be able to sit still and silent for a whole two hours. 

They do this a lot, now. Jisung’s known for being quiet but there’s something about Jaemin that makes him want to spill his guts to him. Jaemin always listens, and he entertains any conversation Jisung holds from the extravagant to the mundane. No matter what it is, Jaemin’s always there to listen, holding Jisung and playing with his hair.

Jisung has his head on Jaemin’s chest, staring at the ceiling when he decides: “I’m hungry.” He sits up and turns to face Jaemin, who raises himself onto his elbows. 

“The boys have snacks in the kitchen…”

“True, but they’ll kill us because they’re supposed to be for movie night only…”

“What if they don’t see us?” Jaemin winks at Jisung, and he rolls his eyes, but his heart definitely skips a beat. 

“Fuck it, let’s go. But if they hear us, we’re dead meat.”

“So we won’t make a sound,” Jaemin says, and the next thing they know they’re creeping down the hallway to the kitchen. 

The kitchen is directly across from the living room, so the two of them have to be _extremely_ quiet and make sure each of the other four boys is paying attention to the movie. They manage to sneak into the kitchen and gather as many boxes and bags as they can, making sure to move slowly and quietly so no one in the other room is any the wiser, and they would have made it back without a hitch, except for Jaemin drops a bag of chips. It hits the ground with a loud crunch, and he freezes for a second, staring at Jisung with huge eyes, before Jisung grabs his arm and they sprint back toward Jaemin’s room. They can hear Donghyuck yelling at them, but they don’t stop, breaking out into laughter that doesn’t stop even when Jaemin slams the door shut behind them. 

They drop the snacks on the floor, and Jaemin says, “Donghyuck’s going to kill us,” and that starts off another laughing fit. Jaemin has his back against the door, and Jisung is bent over trying to catch his breath, and when he straightens up again, locking eyes with Jaemin, there’s one thought that floods his brain.

_I’m going to kiss Jaemin_.

The next few seconds are fleeting, but they tick by like hours to both of them.

Jisung stands up, and Jaemin catches his eye, and both of their laughing halts. Jisung takes a tentative step closer, and Jaemin doesn’t even blink, just holds his gaze, almost like he’s challenging him. Jisung hesitates— just for one split second where he doubts himself, doubts Jaemin, doubts everything, but then it's gone. 

And then before he even has a chance to think about it any further, he grabs Jaemin’s face and kisses him. 

He doesn’t know what’s gotten into him— maybe it’s the way he’s wanted to kiss Jaemin for weeks now, even if he wouldn’t admit it even to himself, or the way that Jaemin’s smile makes his heart feel like it’s going to explode, or maybe it’s purely the adrenaline that washes over him.

Maybe it’s everything all at once. 

He kisses Jaemin like he has something to prove, and Jaemin lets him, careful to let Jisung take the lead. Jisung bites down on Jaemin’s lip gently, but when Jaemin wraps a hand around Jisung’s waist to pull him closer he freezes, pulling away. He lets his head drop onto Jaemin’s shoulder, and Jaemin pats him on the back. 

“It’s okay, Jisungie,” he says softly, and Jisung lifts his head once more.

“It’s okay,” Jaemin repeats, and Jisung nods. Jaemin takes Jisung’s face, cupping it in his hands, and he asks “Okay?” Again, Jisung nods. Jaemin presses a kiss to his mouth, soft and gentle before pulling away again.

“Okay?” Jisung nods once more. So Jaemin kisses him again, and this time, he doesn’t pull away. Jisung follows Jaemin’s lead this time, wrapping his arms around the elder’s waist and leaning into him. When they finally break apart again, Jaemin catches Jisung’s eye and gives him a grin that he can’t help but return. But then he looks away, blushing, because he’s shy and still so unsure about everything.

“Jisungie, it’s okay,” Jaemin says again, and Jisung nods before he sighs. 

“Just… I need to take this slow, Jaemin,” he says softly, and Jaemin nods.

“I know. It’s okay. We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.”

“No, Jaemin…” he grabs one of his hands, “I do, I do. I just need to take my time with this, you know?”

Jaemin nods. “We can go as slow as you want, Jisungie. Okay?” 

Jisung gives him a small smile. “Yeah.”

⭑

Absolutely no one is surprised when Jaemin announces to everyone that they’re dating, but they pretend to be for Jisung’s sake. Except for Renjun, who says “Like we didn’t notice you haven’t slept in your own bed in months,” and Jisung surprises even himself when he shoots back “Like how you’re always sleeping in Jeno’s room?” That shuts him up. 

Being with Jaemin is so so easy. It’s everything that being with Chenle was not. Jisung tries his best not to think about Chenle, but sometimes he gets too in his head and Jaemin has to pull him out. But he’s always understanding, always so kind, and Jisung wonders how he ever got so lucky to have Jaemin as his own. 

And Jaemin always keeps his promise. He doesn’t coerce Jisung into anything and he always waits for Jisung to make the first move.

Jisung isn’t sure about staying in Jaemin’s room permanently at first, but he quickly comes to realize that he feels safer when he’s sleeping in Jaemin’s arms. So he winds up in Jaemin’s bed every night, and eventually he just keeps his toothbrush in there. He wears Jaemin’s clothes all the time anyway. 

He feels more comfortable holding Jaemin’s hand, too. It’s not like they didn’t do it before, but there’s meaning behind it now. He gets butterflies in his stomach when he grabs Jaemin’s hand under the table at meetings, or when they’re in the car. It feels good to be able to hold Jaemin’s hand where no one else can see it and know that when Jaemin squeezes his hand encouragingly, it's for him only.

Eventually, he lets Jaemin touch him, too.

It’s a process, but he trusts Jaemin. The first time is when they have the whole living room to themselves, miraculously, because the stars aligned and let them watch a movie together while everyone else was out. It’s not long into said movie before Jaemin tilts Jisung’s head up to kiss him. It gets heated quickly, and before long Jisung is straddling Jaemin on the couch while Jaemin holds him by the ass. 

Jaemin reaches toward Jisung’s crotch, then hesitates, worried he’ll scare Jisung off. But Jisung grabs his hand, pulling it slowly toward where Jaemin wants it to be, and Jaemin murmurs “You sure, baby?” 

Jisung meets his eyes, nodding, so Jaemin unzips Jisung’s jeans. He pulls Jisung’s cock out and wraps his hand around his length, tugging gently as Jisung nuzzles into Jaemin’s neck. Despite himself, it reminds him of when Chenle did the same thing to him, but it also doesn’t, because Jaemin is so gentle and careful and he asks before he touches.

Jaemin snaps Jisung out of his head when he flicks his wrist around Jisung’s cock, stroking it again before Jisung takes his face in his hands and kisses him deeply. When Jisung is close, he breaks away to say so to Jaemin, breathlessly, who just kisses him again. Jisung comes into Jaemin’s hand, moaning quietly into Jaemin’s mouth.

The second time is when they sneak out, reckless as hell, and they steal a company car in the middle of the night just to get fast food and go for a drive. 

(It had taken a lot of convincing on Jisung’s part. He was terrified of getting caught, and he wasn’t sure if Jaemin even knew how to drive, but when Jaemin begged and gave him those godforsaken puppy eyes of his Jisung caved completely.)

They end up parked in an empty parking lot, under a street light, and they get frisky almost immediately, despite the grease on their fingers and the salt on their lips. Jaemin climbs into the back seat before pulling Jisung with him, and it doesn’t take much convincing for Jisung to get his pants off. This time, Jaemin sucks him off, and Jisung actually thinks he’s going to die, either from shame or pleasure or both. But Jaemin’s _good_ at it, hollowing his cheeks and working wonders with his tongue. Afterwards, Jisung tries to return the favor, but Jaemin won’t have it. They end up wrapped around each other, just listening to Jaemin’s playlist, Jaemin’s head leaned against the cool glass of the window and Jisung’s face against Jaemin’s chest.

The third time, Jisung actually takes control for once (a way to thank Jaemin for the two times before?), and he blows Jaemin in his own bedroom after managing to pull him away from Jeno and Renjun. He’s cautious and inexperienced, but Jaemin is more than satisfied anyway and Jisung is a bit too proud of himself for making Jaemin cum. Jaemin offers to do the same, but Jisung insists he’ll cum immediately if he does, so Jaemin just lets the younger rut against him as they kiss breathlessly.

And so on, and so forth. Jaemin earns himself Jisung’s trust and permission to love him physically, and Jaemin takes it gratefully. They still haven’t gone all the way, even though they both want to, because Jisung doesn’t know if he’s ready to have sex with anyone again, even Jaemin, and Jaemin is certainly never going to push him. Jaemin is patient, and he waits for the day that Jisung gives him permission before anything else happens.

⭑

Jisung does, eventually, give his permission, one day months into their relationship when he thinks he’s finally healed. It’s after a live, when Jaemin couldn’t keep his hands to himself as per usual and he managed to get Jisung worked up enough that Jisung tells him when the live is over that he thinks he’s ready, and Jaemin’s eyes and smile get so wide that Jisung smacks him.

“You’re being too obvious!” he whines, and Jaemin mutters “Sorry, sorry,” before excusing the two of them and dragging Jisung back to his bedroom. 

The moment they’re safely inside, Jaemin kisses Jisung gently, but with purpose, wrapping a hand around his neck and letting out an approving hum when Jisung places his own hands on Jaemin’s hips. It doesn’t take long before Jaemin sets his sights elsewhere, breaking away from Jisung only to press kisses to his jaw and neck. Jisung’s grip on Jaemin tightens as Jaemin’s mouth moves down the column of his neck, and he gives a teasing suck when he reaches the base of Jisung’s neck.

“Jaem…” Jisung starts, trailing off into a gasp when Jaemin bites lightly on his collar bone. Jaemin’s hands are now fumbling with Jisung’s zipper, and Jisung hisses. “Jaemin,” he repeats, firmer now, and Jaemin makes a disapproving sound before lifting his head to look his boyfriend in the eye again. 

“What is it, Sungie?” his pupils are blown wide and Jisung removes a hand from Jaemin’s waist to run it through his hair, trying to get his bearings on the situation. 

“Jaem… Can we at least move to the bed?” he asks helplessly, and Jaemin’s eyes flash. “Of course, baby,” he responds, kissing Jisung on the corner of his mouth before pulling him over to his bed. Jisung sits in the middle of it, and Jaemin immediately climbs on top of him, pushing him into the mattress and attacking him with kisses once more. Jisung just whimpers a little in response, trying not to pay attention to the way Jaemin grinds his hips against his own and sighs into his mouth. 

“You’re so pretty, Sungie,” Jaemin mumbles into his neck, where he’s busied himself with leaving several small love bites, “So pretty.”

Jisung smiles a little, and he manages to keep his wits about him as he strokes Jaemin’s back and replies, “So are you, Jaemin.” Said boy lifts his head to grin at Jisung, so broad that Jisung can’t help but return it, and this time it’s him who takes Jaemin’s face in his hands and kisses him deeply.

They break apart, and Jaemin asks breathlessly “Can I take your pants off?” and Jisung flushes but nods. Jaemin unzips his jeans and pulls them down, along with his boxers, and wraps his hand around Jisung’s cock. Jisung can’t help the flashbacks that flood his brain of Chenle, Chenle touching him where he shouldn’t, Chenle challenging his love, Chenle asking too much of him. But it’s surprisingly easy to shake them off, because Jisung has _Jaemin._ He doesn’t need anyone else, not when he has Jaemin. Not when he has this beautiful boy in his arms, willing and ready to take him as he is.

In fact, Jaemin is everything that Chenle isn’t. Jaemin cares about him, more than Jisung even knew someone could care for someone else, let alone _him_. Jaemin makes sure he’s always feeling safe and comfortable and happy, and if he isn’t, he does everything in his power to fix it. Jaemin is everything he needs and everything he wants. 

Maybe it’s not the best timing, but it’s right now, in this moment in bed with Jaemin, half naked and being vulnerable yet feeling safe for the first time, that Jisung comes to a realization. It’s not surprising, not in the least, but it hits him like a truck and knocks the breath out of him nonetheless.

“Jaemin, I love you,” Jisung says, not even pausing for a second to think over voicing this confession, and Jaemin looks up at him and freezes. Jisung prepares himself for the worst, he’s been _through_ the worst, and maybe Jaemin will tell him he doesn’t feel the same or it’s too soon but he needed to tell him. 

Jaemin moves his free hand to cup Jisung’s face, and Jisung’s eyes flicker nervously around the room before landing on Jaemin’s own. 

“I love you too, Jisung,” Jaemin says, softly and sweetly, and Jisung’s heart swells. This is what was meant to be all along. The two of them, together. Jisung leans forward to kiss Jaemin again, and while he does so Jaemin pumps his cock slowly. They break apart, and after Jisung pulls his shirt off Jaemin murmurs “Do you want to lie down?” and Jisung does.

Jaemin crawls over him, kissing Jisung on the temple before he reaches under one of his pillows and extracts a bottle of lube. Jisung makes a face. “Hyung, ew,” he whines, but Jaemin just shrugs. 

Jisung watches intently as Jaemin pours lube over his four fingers, coating them thoroughly before lowering his hand to Jisung’s hole. 

“Are you ready, Jisungie?” Jaemin asks, double checking, and Jisung sits up a little to nod. “Okay,” Jaemin says softly, and pushes one finger inside Jisung. 

The sound that comes out of Jisung is broken and desperate, and he slaps a hand over his own mouth the moment he realizes he’s made it. But Jaemin loves it, and he carefully pulls Jisung’s hand off of his face, instead linking it with his own.

“It’s okay if you’re loud, baby, I wanna hear it,” he says, and Jisung blushes but nods again. Jaemin pushes in a second finger, then a third, each one increasing the pitch and frequency of Jisung’s moans as he squeezes Jaemin’s hand tighter and tighter. 

When Jaemin thinks Jisung is adequately prepped, he removes his fingers, sitting up and pulling his own clothes off. He coats his dick with the lube, not missing the way Jisung’s eyes flicker between it and his face as he lays underneath him. Jaemin thinks Jisung looks absolutely beautiful, naked below him with his hair fanned out around him like a halo. He lowers himself on top of Jisung, holding himself above the younger with one hand and grabbing the headboard with the other. Jisung reaches for him, kissing his lips and cheeks and jaw, and Jaemin lets him do as he pleases. 

“Are you ready, baby?” Jaemin asks again, lining himself up to Jisung’s hole as he meets Jisung’s gaze again, making sure he’s unwavering in his response.

“I’m ready, Jaemin. I want you.” Jaemin leans down to kiss him again, and he presses the head of his cock against Jisung’s hole, before pushing all the way in as the two of them moan in sync.

“You’re tight,” Jaemin groans without thinking, it just comes out, and Jisung just whimpers in response. 

“Are you okay?” Jaemin is searching Jisung’s face for any sign of discomfort or pain, but he only nods. Jisung lets himself adjust for a moment, letting Jaemin stare at him adoringly as he does so. 

“You can move, Jaemin,” Jisung says eventually, wrapping a hand around Jaemin’s neck. Jaemin gives him a nod in response, and he takes a deep breath before he pulls his hips back. He pushes right back into Jisung, who lets out a quiet moan, and Jaemin lets out a groan of his own. He speeds up his thrusts slowly, careful to watch Jisung’s face for any sign he should stop, but Jisung looks absolutely blissed out and Jaemin’s proud that he’s making him feel that way.

Jisung’s gaze is hazy and unfocused, he’s overwhelmed with pleasure and he knows he’s jaded but he didn’t know sex could feel this good. Chenle might have taken his first time, but Chenle can’t take _this_. It’s amazing to him how much better it feels to do it with someone who loves him as much as he loves them. 

“I love you so much, Jaemin,” Jisung says again, gasping when his words cause Jaemin to thrust in slightly harder and hit his prostate straight on. Jisung holds Jaemin’s face in his hands, and Jaemin brushes some hair out of Jisung’s face as he responds. 

“I love you too, Jisung. So much.”

Jisung grins at him, snaking his hands up into Jaemin’s hair and pulling his boyfriend toward him. Jaemin goes easily, catching Jisung’s lips with his own as he continues to fuck in and out of him.

Jisung can’t do much more than let out quiet noises and keep kissing Jaemin, and it’s not much longer before Jaemin’s on the edge of his orgasm.

“Jisung— Jisung, I’m gonna come soon,” Jaemin admits, letting out a moan when Jisung clenches around him.

Jisung is shy but not embarrassed when he requests, “Will you come inside me?” He meets Jaemin’s wide eyes with his own lidded ones, continuing, “It’s okay, Jaemin. I want you to.”

Jaemin nods, gulping a little. Jisung gives him a sweet smile, and Jaemin returns it before he leans down, kissing Jisung deeply and tenderly as he fills him up.

Jisung reciprocates the kiss, pausing momentarily to moan lowly at the feeling of Jaemin’s cum inside him. Jaemin doesn’t pull away, he reaches between them to stroke Jisung until he reaches his own orgasm and comes all over both of their stomachs. 

Jaemin pulls out slowly, kissing Jisung once more, chastly, before he climbs out of bed to get a towel. He returns to wipe Jisung down, gently wiping down his stomach and the space between his thighs. 

When he’s done, Jaemin clambers back into bed, flopping down next to Jisung, who immediately wraps himself around the older. They lay in silence for a moment, Jisung letting his eyes close as Jaemin draws small circles on his arm with his finger. 

After a moment, Jaemin turns to look down at Jisung as he asks: “Was it okay? Are you okay? Did you like it?” It all comes out at once, and he didn’t realize until now how nervous he was for Jisung’s first time with him.

Jisung smiles up at him. “ _Yes_ , Jaemin. It was perfect.” 

Jaemin beams. All these years and months and days, he just wanted _this_. Jisung in his arms, loving each other the way they should.

The way it was always meant to be.


End file.
